Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.

Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?

Wages? You want to be wage slaves? Answer me that! Of course not. What is it that makes wage slaves? Wages! I want you to be free. Strike off your chains! Strike up the band! Strike three you're out! Remember, there's nothing like Liberty, except Colliers and The Saturday Evening Post. Be free, now and forever. One and individual. One for all and all for me, and tea for two and six for a quarter.