There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week.