No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.

I'd have liked to have gone to bed with Jean Harlow. She was a beautiful broad. The fellow who married her was impotent and he killed himself. I would have done the same thing.

And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs.

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.