I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face

Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.

That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.

Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.