Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.

Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.

The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.

I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.