I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: "The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you." Firefly replies: "Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more."