[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bandages and adhesive tape.

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns

Whatever it is, I'm against it.