Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.