[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.