Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Humor is reason gone mad.
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.