TV is the rat race of the century.

I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.

Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.

Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.

If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.

Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.