Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Go, and never darken my towels again

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing