Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.