This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.

Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.

The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.