The Alps are a simple folk, living on a diet of old shoes. And the Lord Alps those who alp themselves.

As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.

In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know.

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.