Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life

I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

I hope they bury me near a strait man

The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.