Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face

Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.