Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.