Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication

I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.