Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.

If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.

If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.