Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?