I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

Was that you or the duck?

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.