He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

Always examine the dice.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup.

Mrs. Teasdale calls for rescue and Firefly delivers the famous line to his cohorts as they rescue her: "Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did."

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'