Humor is reason gone mad.
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.