I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government - I'd give it all up for one erection.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

The Alps are a simple folk, living on a diet of old shoes. And the Lord Alps those who alp themselves.

You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.

Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.

This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.