I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.

We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week.

Any place I hang my head is home.

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.