I came here for a party and what do I get? Nothing. Not even Ice cream.

I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.

Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman

If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government - I'd give it all up for one erection.