When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"
Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?" "Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!
Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? How much
I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now.
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.