Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? How much
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
If he's been married for 31 years, he's not the same man.
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.