I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

Humor is reason gone mad.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!

Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.