Go, and never darken my towels again

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.