Go, and never darken my towels again

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life

Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.

Room service? Send up a larger room.