Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs.

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove

You're only as young as the woman you feel.

The only real laughter comes from despair.