Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

Budget: a way of going broke methodically