Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

The admission fee was a viper's tongue and a half-concealed stiletto. It was a sort of intellectual slaughterhouse.

Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.

Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself

I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing

You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.

In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs.