Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.

Was that you or the duck?

The Alps are a simple folk, living on a diet of old shoes. And the Lord Alps those who alp themselves.