You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"
The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.