Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

There was no need to inform us of the protocol involved. We were from Chicago and knew all about cement.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.