Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.