Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.

Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.

Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.