Before I speak, I have something important to say.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

The only real laughter comes from despair.

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while

Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.

Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.