Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.

I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now.

Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

The admission fee was a viper's tongue and a half-concealed stiletto. It was a sort of intellectual slaughterhouse.