I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government - I'd give it all up for one erection.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.