Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? How much

The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

The only real laughter comes from despair.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.