I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.