No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.