I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.
Women should be obscene, not heard.
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.