How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.

But what makes wage slaves? Wages!

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.