[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Humor is reason gone mad.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.