[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know.

If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face