A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

Always examine the dice.

Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

Was that you or the duck?