Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.

Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the second added

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

Any place I hang my head is home.