I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.

There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

I came here for a party and what do I get? Nothing. Not even Ice cream.

Budget: a way of going broke methodically