Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.