In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know.

There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.

I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.

Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.

This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

What have future generations ever done for us?