Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?

Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.

Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.

The Alps are a simple folk, living on a diet of old shoes. And the Lord Alps those who alp themselves.

Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket