I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.