From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove

Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?" "Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!

You've forgotten those June nights at the Riviera...the night I drank Champagne from your slipper - two quarts. It would have been more but you were wearing inner soles.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?

Budget: a way of going broke methodically