You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?

Hello, I must be going.

When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government - I'd give it all up for one erection.

Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

The admission fee was a viper's tongue and a half-concealed stiletto. It was a sort of intellectual slaughterhouse.