Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Budget: a way of going broke methodically

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.