I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down

Only if the computers really love each other.

With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.

I hate London when it's not raining.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!