No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!