Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.