Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup.

Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.