In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

The only real laughter comes from despair.

I hate London when it's not raining.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bandages and adhesive tape.